What I've Learned About Grief

This a a great list of things learned during the first year of grief.

What I've Learned About Grief

1)  Grief is nebulous.  It comes and goes at its own speed and in its own time

2)  The more demonstrative others are about their grief, the more reserved I am about my own

3)  Just because one does not show grief does not mean one doesn't feel it

4)  It's okay to be happy

5)  Feeling relief and freedom is normal

6)  Family dynamics change completely when a loved one dies

7)  Regret for all that was - and was not - lingers

8)  Crying about loss is easier with those who don't expect it

9)  Relationships shift

10)  Rituals are important

11)  Learning more about grief does not diminish its impact.

As for that last one, I'd say it depends on what you're learning. Learning about the theories of grief and the stages of grief isn't helpful at all.  Grief isn't theoretical. It's messy and unpredictable. It can make you feel like you're going crazy. Learning that what you're experiencing is normal can relieve the worry and self judgment many experience. That makes it possible to be with the grief and allow it to heal you. Does it change the pain? No.