When a Friend Grieves, How to Get Sympathy Right

This is a good article on how to help someone who is grieving.

A Modern Condolences Guide

People often are at a loss for how to express sympathy and offer comfort to someone who is grieving the death of a loved one, both immediately after the death and weeks or months later. Here are some tips.

• REACH OUT. But don't let email or texting take the place of an in-person visit or phone call. Remember, much of what we find comforting—tone of voice, eye contact, touch—is nonverbal.
• LISTEN. Follow the mourner's lead. Let the person talk about what is important to him.
• SHARE A MEMORY. For someone who is grieving, hearing about things the loved one said and did, and what they meant to others, is comforting.
• OFFER PRACTICAL HELP. Can you assist with funeral planning? Babysitting? Mowing the lawn? Most people don't ask for help because they don't want to seem needy.
• ASK BEFORE BRINGING A LOT OF FOOD. What do the mourners want or need? It doesn't have to be fancy—perhaps milk, eggs or orange juice?
• GIVE SOMETHING THAT WILL LIVE ON. Consider skipping the flowers. Perhaps share a memento, or make a charitable donation to honor the deceased.

When a Friend Grieves, How to Get Sympathy Right