Have you noticed how many metaphors we use when it comes to grief? It makes sense. The words to describe this experience called grief, can be so very hard to find. They all seem so inadequate, but the metaphors catch a certain reality and communicate it so we can all understand.
I like this idea of grief being a house with many rooms...the dispair room, the crying room, the sadness room, the self pity room, the reality room, and best of all, the room of beautiful memories.
I also discovered the room of beautiful memories. As time passed, I found myself there more and more. Those beautiful memories often brought tears, but they were tears of joy .?.?. the realization how profoundly Kay and I had been blessed.
“I’ve probably left some rooms out, but looking back, it seemed I was always in one room or the other, sometimes more than one at the same time. Gratefully, the self-pity and guilt room doors are pretty well closed now .?.?. and some on the negative side are only slightly ajar. I don’t cry as often as I used to. I’ve learned crying is normal and physically cleansing.
“The hardest room for me to be in was the room I called my sense of profound loss. That’s a door that will never be closed.
“Finally, I learned to just step outside the house into the yard where the birds, the butterflies, the flowers .?.?. and many of the beautiful memories of my beloved Kay are waiting for me to savor.
“At first, I didn’t realize the sunny yard of memories was there. Now it’s where I spend more time than in all the rooms put together .?.?. and there’s a lot of laughter, because I know we’re laughing together. She’s with me still, and always will be. I often think back to the day we said our wedding vows. We said, forever and a day, not ’til death do us part.”
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