Helping teenagers cope with grief

This is an excellent article on Helping teenagers cope with grief, It's a bit long but well worth the time if your a parent.

Includes some ways of talking to kids about death long before they're facing the loss of a close family member or friend.

Talking with children about death

Do:

• Begin talking about the concept of death when children are very young.

• Take opportunities that arise in everyday life to deal with death, such as change of seasons, death of plants and animals, etc.

• Answer children's questions honestly. Give information which is appropriate to the age and understanding of the child.

• Allow children to express their feelings openly. Acknowledge their feelings as normal.

Don't:

• Do not tell children fantasies that you do not believe.

• Do not liken death to sleep or to going on a trip. This can cause children to become afraid of these things.

• Do not attempt to keep information about a death from a child in your attempt to shield him/her. Children will pick up changes in your behavior and misinterpret the reasons for it. Also, children deserve the opportunity to mourn a loss.

• Do not tell children that an animal or person died because God wanted them or because they were good and God wanted them. This can lead to anxiety in children about God choosing them next.

• Do not convey the idea that death is a punishment for wrongdoing. This, too, can lead to anxiety on a child's part.

How to help children cope with a death

• Help the child to know that his/her feelings are normal.

• Help him/her to express his/her feelings through talking, playing, creative or active outlets, etc.

• Crying can help. Give the child permission to cry when he/she feels like it.

• Be open with your own feelings and expression of them. You can model having and expressing feelings without burdening your child.

• Help the child to remember and talk about (as ready) the person or animal who died. The child might keep or create something to remember the person or pet by. Help keep the memories realistic. No person or pet is “perfect.”