The Art of Comforting, a new book on grief looks at the role of the comforters. I like what the author, Val Walker, says in this pre-release interview.
The importance of being fully present, with kind eye-to-eye contact and welcoming gestures. The importance of listening well, following the lead of the person you are helping, and being unassuming... Comforters don’t have to be warm, fuzzy, touchy-feely, big-hugging people. Comforting doesn’t mean always having the right words. Even grief counselors come up short on words.
Having done my share of grief counseling, I have to agree. We don't always have the right words. Nobody does. The words are really the least of it. The most important thing is a willingness and capacity to listen with an open heart.
The next best thing you can do is invite reminiscing. Don't ask about feelings, ask about memories.
For more on how to help someone who is grieving, read 5 Ways to Help When Someone You Know is Grieving
No comments:
Post a Comment